Hold, Please
by Moonlight Usagi-Chan
Summary: Being placed on hold sucks. Staying on hold for over an hour is downright frustrating. That is, until Doctor Chiba takes matters into his own hands and types in a random six-digit extension. An UsaMamo ficlet for Pia Bartolini, only with a better ending than what she got!


_Hellloooo everyone and welcome to my random one-shot! This little ficlet is for the very (and rightfully so) frustrated Pia Bartolini, who was on hold for over two hours and then promptly hung up on. And to add insult to injury, once hung up on, the phone lines wouldn't connect! (I should know, I tried, too!) And so, she came up with the idea of Mamoru on hold with Usagi trying to calm him down, a cute little intro injected with a dose of realism. And then told me to write it for her to make her feel better lmfao!_

_And so I present to you "**Hold, Please**" - a little bit of cuteness and a flustered Mamo! _

_Happy reading!_

_PS: And only an amazing beta would edit her own 'I hope this makes you feel better' present and then insist you post it XD But that's why she's awesome!_

* * *

"Thank you for calling. We are currently experiencing a higher than average call volume. The current wait time is fifteen minutes. Please stay on the line and someone will assist you shortly."

_Fifteen minutes? What the fuck? _Mamoru tapped the speaker icon on his phone screen and placed it alongside his pen. The sounds of smooth jazz began to blare out of the tiny mechanism, immediately reminding him of an elevator, or the Weather Channel. Mamoru pursed his lips as he began to tune out the upbeat notes of the saxophone and allow his eyes to trail back to the file in front of him, his paperwork nearly completed. All he needed was to speak with the attending physician and get her consulting opinion, and he would be able to finally – FINALLY – go home and get some sleep… 30 hours later.

He had tried his colleague, Ami Mizuno's hospital extension earlier, but he received a very odd 'your call cannot be completed as dialed' bullshit. Which was odd, given he directly dialed her line from his own extension and not the main line.

It wasn't like she was not at the hospital; they ran in to one another when he arrived at the physician's office after his 24 hour shift. In fact, they shared a laugh about trading places when he saw her walking down the hallway a couple of hours ago. _And_ he gave her a heads up he would be calling her about this case, so it's not like she was ignoring him. Or left for the day. At least, he hoped not. That would suck. If she did, it would mean he would need to turn to Beryl Ko, and the last thing he wanted to do was go and ask his arch nemesis, dating all the way back to his Keio days, for an opinion.

Fuck that shit.

To make matters worse, she had left her cell here at the office, so texting her to let her know she was needed was out of the question.

And so, in an act of desperation, he opted to call the main switchboard to see if they could get through to Ami. After all, they would be able to patch him through at the very least.

With a quick check of the time, Mamoru found that only four minutes had passed. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, the trumpet tooting a bit too obnoxiously into the dead air, and ran his fingers down his face.

Being on hold sucks.

He turned his attention to his computer, waking the darkened monitor up with a quick jerk of his mouse. In an attempt to distract himself for the remaining twelve minutes of the projected hold time, Mamoru began to filter through his email. _Delete. Delete. Delete. Junk. SPAM. Delete. Grubhub? Ooh, free delivery? Save. _

Once he whittled his inbox down, Mamoru's eye slid off of the computer screen and back over to his phone. 18 minutes, yet he was still on hold. He puffed his cheeks and grumbled in annoyance. It was the switchboard; why the hell were they so backlogged?

Reaching for his office line, Mamoru cradled the receiver in his shoulder and dialed the extension of the front lobby. Perhaps the power of a landline would defeat the cellular call that was on hold at the moment? Unfortunately for him, he was turned away with another discouraging message once more.

_"__We are on the phone with another patient and appreciate your patience. Please stay on the line."_

Mamoru felt his eye twitch.

He noisily replaced the receiver, letting out a groan of annoyance simultaneously. This was NOT how he expected to spend his… morning? Afternoon? Whatever the hell time it was. In any event, it was now _twenty minutes later_, and he was on hold.

On hold. At the very hospital he worked at.

Mamoru puckered his lips. Part of him itched to go seek Ami out in the expansive building. Maybe dumb luck would be on his side and he would find her floating around.

Except that would be at least another 20 minutes by the time he got in his car, drove to the hospital, and found a parking spot. And a hospital that size? What would the odds be he'd even find her?

With another dejected sigh, Mamoru started up his internet browser and opened Harvard Medical School's health publishing page. As he scrolled through the it, finding nothing in particular today that caught his eye, he felt his shoulders drop.

Surely, he wouldn't be on hold that much longer, right?

#

Fifty-five minutes, an article titled 'Comfort Food Without The Guilt!', and the same fucking saxophone blaring and trumpet tooting over and over and over again, Mamoru was all but five minutes away from throwing his blasted phone out the fucking window and into the parking lot.

The ONLY thing stopping him was the fact that if he did not get his paperwork done, he would have to come in on the weekend. A weekend that he had plans. Plans! He NEVER had plans to go out! Catch the game, have some beers… all without being on call!

That, and the fact he would _not_ call Beryl. Nope. Even if it was also her area of expertise. The earth would need to go into a deep freeze before he'd let that happen. How the hell Ami put up with her on a daily basis baffled him.

He could feel his retinas burning from the combo of lack of sleep as he stared at the tiny screen on his phone, miniscule white font taunting him as the seconds continued to pass. For probably the twentieth time in this conquest, Mamoru reached for his landline phone and keyed in the six digit extension, only to receive the same bullshit line about helping another patient.

He was getting pissed. And impatient. Couple those two with the fact that neither his cell nor office line could get him through, he was five seconds away from losing it.

He picked up the phone and keyed in a random six digit code, hopeful that it would bring him to somebody – anybody! A doctor, a janitor, the maintenance man, just… someone who coul—

"Tsukino Usagi speaking."

Mamoru nearly toppled out of his chair from excitement when he heard a voice on the other end of the phone that he wound up stammering out an introduction. "Hi—yes—hello. Can you help me out? I'm looking for Doctor Mizuno. Can you possibly get me to her?"

"Uh…. She's currently with a patient, can I have her call you back?"

"I need her now. Can you get her for me?"

"No, sir; she's with a patient right now. Can I have her call you when she returns?"

Mamoru ran his hand down his face. "Listen; I need to speak with her immediately. I need her for a consultation opinion. Can you tell me where she is?"

"May I ask who I am speaking with?"

"This is Doctor Chiba," Mamoru curtly answered. "And I need Doctor Mizuno right now."

"I'm sorry, Doctor Chiba, but until she is done with her patient, I am going to have to ask you to either call back later or I can take a message," she countered, which flustered Mamoru even more.

"There, is NO WAY, I am going back on hold," Mamoru nearly exploded. "If I have to listen to that music _one more time-"_

"The lousy jazz music?"

"—I am gonna—yes! Yes! You hate it, too?!"

Mamoru felt his anger lessen slightly when he heard the voice on the other end laugh. It floated through his head like a melody; light, sweet, one he wanted to hear more of. "Yes, I really do! It's the worst!" she agreed. Suddenly, Mamoru found himself laughing along with her, his anger lessening.

"Shit," Mamoru cursed, "I'm sorry I was crass. It's been… a tough morning."

The girl on the other end giggled sweetly. "It's afternoon now, Doctor."

Mamoru's eyes glanced at the bottom right of his desktop, surprised to see it was indeed well into the afternoon. "Ah, so it is."

"I don't normally do this, but, let me see if I can find a way to get Doctor Mizuno. It might take a bit, so I'm going to have to put you back on hold."

"Ugh," Mamoru groaned.

"I know, I know," she giggled in revelation of their mutual hatred. "Hang on a sec, okay?"

"Sure."

"Oh, and if we get disconnected, my direct extension is 202808."

"You're the best. Thank you."

The girl giggled again, making Mamoru's heart thump harder than usual. "Don't go anywhere, mmkay?"

Once the obnoxious jazz music returned, Mamoru allowed the receiver to relax slightly in the crook of his neck. He closed his eyes in resolve; hopefully, this – Tsukino did she say her name was? – girl would be able to get a hold of Ami, and then he could get the hell out of here. Go to bed, get…. approximately five hours of sleep before meeting up with the guys.

His excitement wore off quickly, as his eyes remained glued to the clock. It had been at least five minutes since she put him back on hold, and he was convinced now that he was listening to one song on repeat. Over and over again with a tsssk-n-a-tssk-n-a whaaaaale and a ba-da-da-bummm mixed in. Ba-bum-bum-ba-da-da-dummmmm. Tsk-n-a-tsk-in-a

"Doctor? Doctor?"

"Ah, yes, I'm still here."

"I know; you were singing with the hold music."

Mamoru nearly fell out of his chair again. "Oh."

She giggled again. "So, listen, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but she's popped into another patient meeting. I was able to catch her in between patients and told her you needed her as soon as possible. She said she'd call you as soon as she can."

Mamoru let out a sigh. "I guess that's better than nothing."

"I'm sorry; I wish I could offer you more than that."

"No, no—don't be sorry. Not your fault."

"I know, but, I get it. Having to wait for someone in order to finish your work. Happens to me all the time."

Mamoru grunted in agreement. "I don't think we've met before; are you a new secretary?"

"No; I'm a nurse."

"A nurse?"

"Yeah."

"Why are you answering the secretary's line, then?"

"I didn't, you called the nurse's station."

"Huh?"

"The nurse's station. You know, big desk, lots of sleep deprived people running around behind it?"

Mamoru winced. So, not only did he practically yell at this poor woman already, he just demoted her. "…oh. So, you normally don't do this, do you?"

She giggled again, and Mamoru felt that stupid thump in his chest hit him once more. "Not usually. But, I thought I'd help you out. You seemed desperate."

"You have no idea," he grimaced. "It's been… a long 31 hours."

"Oh man. You must be tired, huh?"

He laughed. "Just a little."

"You poor thing," she cooed, causing his heart to do that annoying thump once again. "Hopefully we can get you home soon."

"Hopefully. Thank you, Tsukino-san, you said it was?"

"That's me!"

"Maybe… maybe I'll see you one of these days?"

"Maybe you will," she laughed.

"I hope so," Mamoru found himself saying, only to snap his mouth shut and his eyes widen from the admittance. "Um, uhhhh, thank you for your help. Have a good rest of your day, Tsukino-san."

"You too, Doctor Chiba."

Mamoru's neck remained crooked, the receiver of the phone cradling there as he pondered the silence that now loomed on the other end.

She was sweet. More than sweet; a godsend. He asked for help and the universe had spoken. And help, she did! Got someone on the line at the hospital, had them looking for Ami. He had asked, and she delivered.

So, why did he suddenly feel so… bummed?

It was a five minute phone call. Five minutes after an hour of hold time and music. Yet, in those five minutes, despite all the frustration and all the annoyance he felt budding, she made him laugh. Laugh! When was the last time he laughed?

She sympathized with him enough that she went out of her way to help him. It wasn't even her job to help him out; he was the dumbass who called a nurse's station. Hell, he didn't even know which nurse's station he called. What department did he even call?

His office line shrilled, quickly taking him out of his thoughts. When he put the receiver to his ear and answered in his usual greeting, a part of him hoped it was Tsukino. That she was checking in, making sure Ami had called him. To hear that giggle again that would make him smile.

"Thank you for getting back to me, Mizuno-san. Sorry for the persistence. But before we begin, do you know of a nurse named Tsukino?"


End file.
